Emotions

                           Emotions. What about emotions? I indulged myself into this eight letter word. I lived in it. I lived with it. Ever since, emotions has been appealing to me. I get moved once emotion is involved in a conversation, once emotion becomes the central part of the story, and once emotion touched the heart of my soul. What I mean by that is when I relate to the emotion being described.

                        When I am feeling gloomy and jaded, I notice the things that are dull, things with no color, and the things that are very dark. These things described my emotion, that is why I notice them because they are appealing to me, because that is what and how I feel at the very moment.

                         However, for the past few months, I have been blank. I mean, I still feel sad, happy, dull, gloomy, grateful, and apologetic. Yet, there is something missing. I have not been as lively as I am. There are days that I am lively, enthusiastic, and energetic, however it only lasts for a day, or an hour, or a minute. It has been temporary. My moods are swinging back and forth. I crave pity. I crave attention. I crave things that are unnecessary, yet despite knowing its insignificance I dwell in it.

                        As I craved those unnecessary things, I tend to focus on what I do not have, neglecting the things that I currently have with abundance. It's like having many dishes in the table, yet still craving on what's not there. It is essentially neglecting the blessings that one has, when the person should have been grateful for it, because many people in the world are genuinely deprived of the things that he or she is currently neglecting.

                      Living in oblivion, being oblivious with the things that are totally apparent, I became apathetic. I detached myself into the world I used to indulged myself in. I desensitized myself so that I do not feel the pain that I am currently feeling, and so I tried to be disinterested and unconcerned with the things that I was usually attentive of. I attempted to be the person I was never was, due to the reason of fear of pain, and for the fear of being broken inside and out. I tried not to illustrate emotion to people in order to mask the heaviness of doubt and fear inside of me.
                
                   Things just arrived into worst scenarios. There are days that I was brusque to people. I neglected the people who were very kind and friendly to me, just because I was attempting to detach myself from various emotions. I do not want to feel clingy to and with people. I could not fathom the lies within me. The doubts and fear are engulfing me inside and out. My mind was full of scribble scrabble, I could not contemplate and discern things properly. There was fulminations deep inside my head, I was bursting into tears, because life was just tearing me apart. Emotions made me feel quizzically; it made me doubt; it made me fear; it made me an alien to what I was familiar of.

                  Yet, today, December 19, 2014, the last day of the first semester of our last year as high school students. An English Teacher, who was always there by my side, who protected me from doubts and fears, who encouraged me to be better in times of adversities, printed the recommendation letter she has for me. She stated every single detail that I tend to neglect because I was detaching myself from the emotions that I have. I have been neglecting the things that are very ordinary to me, yet special to others because it brings them happiness and joy. I was the warm coat when they were feeling cold. She was the windfall to me. She was an unexpected blessing that came into my life to save me. She was an angel in disguise. She saved me from my weakest enemy - myself.

                Now, I will try to get back on track. Be the person I was again. Not let anybody take away the integrity that has been built within me. I am who I am because of my emotions; taking my emotions away is like taking the vital organs within me - I am not living.

Moving on

Two words, moving on..... It took me two years to realize that I totally moved on. Moving on is not just a word. It is a transition. A change from who you are to who you want yourself to be. I don't even know why I am writing this down. I don't even know why am I wasting my time bringing back the memories. I also learned that in every transition there's a hole in your heart that needs to be filled. That hole will change your life possibly your whole you. I am suffering on that right now. Well, I cannot call it as "suffering" but it is just annoying that you could call it that way. Anyway, a basketball guy, tall, light-skinned, with glasses, friendly, nice, gentleman, and my ex-weight room partner. That is how I describe him to myself and to anyone. He always pops out in my head in the middle of everything. He just comes in my mind from nowhere which is very annoying. In the middle of studying, eating, relaxing, watching television, in the shower, brushing my teeth, reading a book, and even during my sleep. Who is not irritated with this? It is just annoying. I wonder why I don't have the powers to just delete him in my mind. His smile, his laugh, his blushing red face when his friend took his glasses off is just adorable, that's what pops in my head every time. I post many things in facebook about him. Hints and clues everywhere, his initials, his jersey number. I couldn't even track how many times I visited his timeline in just a day. I can't focus on my studies, my homework, my things to do, my household chores, basically everything. I even gave him holiday grams with a gift. Well, I did not announce my name or wrote my initials. I just put anonymous, to be safe. I don't want him to know it's me, but I want him to notice me in his world. I did deactivate my facebook account, that is why I am here right now, writing this. Because I don't want to reactivate my account and be busy again. Being busy in visiting his account twice every 5 minutes. It is just unhealthy. I want him to fill this hole in my heart and be my inspiration and not my distraction. Well, there was an accomplishment. After I deactivate my fb account I was able to finish my AP English homework. I read the book and finish my reading log. I don't know how to forget him. But, I'm just going to make myself busy and busy and busy. This is all for now. :)
#10

"I AM ME"

Im not the strongest
Nor am I the tallest
But what I lack in strength I make up in the size of my heart
Im not the most fashionable
Nor am I the best looking
But I have a heart and an inner beauty that shines 24/7
I may not be the smartest
Nor am I the nerdiest
But I know that loving someone means loving their flaws and perfections
I may not be the richest
Nor am I the most giving
But when I love, I love with all of my heart and time
I may not be the most experienced
Nor the most talented
But I am a quick learner and eager to learn
I may not be the most loving
Nor the most caring
But I love with all of my heart, open arms, and an open mind
I am just like everyone else, a human being. Although I am unique in my own way, I am still an ordinary human being. I am not perfect, I have flaws, but I am looking for the same thing that everyone else is looking for. True, unconditional love. Someone I can have a conversation with. Someone I can trust with my life. Someone who cares not about physical beauty as much as inner beauty. Someone like me. Someone that shines like the stars in the midnight sky. Someone that loves with all of their heart and holds no regrets. But most of all, someone that is confident that they are beautiful even though others tell him/her that they arent. So tell someone they are beautiful in their own way, and that there is someone waiting for them to share their love.

" CHANGE "

As they say... Change is good!
Well, it is.

Change may be better for you and bad for others, they just don't accept the fact that you change from the person they thought you were.. But sometimes in life we also thought the the "OLD US" were US but, the truth is we are still exploring the "Real us", when we could express what we wanted to express and not scared of showing something that is part of us. Because the truth is sometimes we are oppressed by our own insecurities and anxieties that we can't show the things that is part of us.
To come to my point.. it's not about CHANGE.. it's about "YOU"

Well, in this instance I'm pointing to myself.
I just thought that the old me was me.. But then one day came, and I realized that I am gradually changing I just can't point out what changed in me, but I know I (somewhat) change. (yung bang alam mong parang feeling mo na may nakalimutan ka, di mo lang matukoy kung ano) -- I feel that way...
I know this is not the type of change that one day you wake up and you see yourself totally different.. Well, there's nothing like that.. I mean change is not like, in just a blink of an eye or a snap on a finger or as fast as the bubbles pop. Change is gradual, step by step.. like a turtle or a snail slowly taking their moves or steps.

One more thing that I am really proud I overcome.. I MOVED ON ! in terms of love life.. I just realized it's not really the right time, the perfect moment.. Maybe I just took a fast ride instead of walking to my life step by step... There were times I said to myself that I know what risks I am taking, I know that this feeling I am feeling is true, that this is what they called true love but then... as time passes by I realized it's not.. well, that's life.
I admit that there are times in my life that I close my ears and mind to others' words of wisdom but there are also times that I listened, but I just didn't do what they are telling me which is my mistake.. (pointing out your mistakes are good, because you know what you need to fix --even though it's hard.. the thing is that at least you know.) For all the teenagers .. who think that you are worth entering a relationship just think thoroughly.. give that guy or yourself a time.. let them wait or yourself wait and see if they are sincere or if you are sincere.. because when I entered the relationship, I am still "unsure" of what I am feeling even though I am telling myself that "I am really sure" .. That's what they say... "you will never know/realize your mistakes once you are inside a relationship because "you are blinded by (what you think) "love" is." You need to come out on that situation and see the whole picture and point out the wrongs and mistakes, so that you can fix it... 

OK. back to my changes.. Well, this past few days, I realized and thought about dreaming.. before I had dreams but they are not realistic dreams and more on fairy tales (I love fairy tales by the way -- I used to believe in happily ever after--).. but now I am trying to visualize myself as an actress, singer, performer or a person who has a privileged or a high position in a job, or  I am having a successful business. My financial and other achievements will be for my mama and papa and my family or other people who needs help. This visualization is not my thing at all (AT ALL) before.. but now I am becoming more realistic, more inspired because of my family and I know no matter what happen they're not going to turn their backs on me (unlike your bfs/gfs --when you fail they'll get discourage (some of them -- i'm not saying all) but, my point is getting your inspiration in the people you know who loves you and you love back is priceless.)

Change is good for you as long as you change for the better, being a better person (helping others and loving others as you love yourself -- that is being better).

"The feeling comes and goes"

The pain is here again,
it was gone and now it's coming back,
it comes and it goes...
Is it really this hard? 
Is it really hard to move on from your past?

More than a year had past...
but whenever someone reminds me about the feeling of love,
the pain is still fresh, it feels like it just happen so recently.
Is this true love?

True love?
How do we define it?
Some says :
"True Love is when you put someone else's well being above your own. You no longer matter, its all about that other person. Yours becomes theirs and "I" is no longer something that comes out of your mouth."
"True love to me is when two people love each other unconditionally."
but for me, it's just simply "True Love can wait and it will never lose faith."

Does time matter?
or does change matter? 
over time, people change... is it going to affect the feeling you have for that person?

questions, questions, questions....
I want this pain go away, 
that, when someone asks me about love,
the pain won't show, the pain won't overflow..
I want this pain to end..
That's all I ever wanted..

Is there someone seeking for me and me seeking for him?
or the chance will make us together and chance will set as apart too?
 I want answers to my questions. Someday...

"Almost a year ago..."

Almost a year ago since I migrated here in U.S from Philippines...
I found something while I'm cleaning my stuff, and the thing that I found was the one that I wrote in a piece of paper while I'm still adjusting and that was the time that I had a hard time of forgetting what I had in my past.
This is what I wrote:

"Having doubts in a situation is really confusing, even if you know what's right, there's still second thought that makes you more confuse and your mind doesn't know what to choose."

"I don't know if NOT loving someone makes me empty, or is it just me who pressured myself for something."

"Six months passed, I moved on with the heartbreak stuff but, it makes me so empty even if  I'm not. I'm so full, my mind is, as if there's no tomorrow but deep inside I am so empty, I feel so empty. I know love is like a drug as what other people say, that it is so addictive but sometimes it is too much that it comes to the point you need space and stop loving because it becomes so unhealthy for a person and it is a pain and when you cannot help it, you need to go to the rehab where you can be treated and heal that wound which is your broken heart. How we wish that there is a place for rehabilitation of the people who have broken hearts but, it seems like that would not happen."

When I read this quotes that I wrote, I never thought that I thought about this before, as if I never wrote it and I was not the person who wrote it anymore. Painful to think, but happy to encounter. My past would be a very great experience for me and those memories were the ones I will carry and remember for a lifetime.


-Faye

"Goodbyes& ends"

Who wants end? who wants goodbyes?
You're beautiful relationship is coming to an end..
You're best friends are saying goodbye...
It hurts so much, it is so painful to make something end  especially when it is so important or sentimental for you, saying goodbye to a very important person or material for you, in other words letting that person or material go, away from you. Some people were so materialistic, loving material and earthly things it's part of being a person but, the very thing that we need to think is a person that can never be replaced by anyone even expensive material things because, a person is a person who just have one life to live. Let's give importance to the people who are here with us, no matter how many fights we have had, no matter how much they are stubborn they are still human who needs love by the people who they expect that they will accept for who they are and what they are, their strength and weaknesses. Don't lose hope, every ending has a new beginning, every goodbye's have Hello's.

"TRUE FEELINGS?"

True feelings are the feelings that you don't just act out for pretending something that isn't real.
In terms of love, true feelings is the feeling that just came out without planning, even you try to hide it but, it just came out from somewhere without expecting.
Let me tell you a personal reason from a true story that happened and until now the answer is maybe.
There was a teenagers who knew each other for 1 and a half yr. since they entered the relationship they both knew that one of them is going to leave. They compromise and made a promise, thinking that  they felt "true feelings" but let me tell you something, they don't really feel the true feelings we are seeking for, maybe at that moment that was their thought, that was the message their brain was processing thinking that it was from their heart. When one of them left, everything changed even their friendship, they thought it will work out but, NO. It didn't, until now no one knows what's next, if they're love story had end or it is just a "pause" moment for their love story and waiting for the right time for their book to be open again...

"People who experienced failures are the ones' who succeed"

People who encounter failures are the one's who usually succeed in life. You know why?
First of all, take note of the word "failures" it's not "failure" it's with "S" which means it's plural, it's more than one failure. Well, people who failed many times are the ones' who always try and try until they got it right. The more you try, the more chances of succeeding. It's a matter of chance, when you take the opportunity to try it's either you succeed or you fail. Failure is always part of a human life, no human could be an exception to that, and no human who doesn't fail even the most genius person, they experienced failures in terms of experimenting but through failure they discover a lot of things, they use  their own failure or mistakes to make things right, they made it beneficial for them to know what's wrong what did they do and how did they fail through failure they surpass in a lot of things, they try and try until they got answers to their questions, until they do what they need to do and until they succeed. Failure may sound negative for people, but the truth is it depends on a person how they would accept their own failure. When you fail, it's not the end of the world for you, that's why people have chances, if you have chance to try again, why don't take the opportunity maybe, if you would try agin it would make you more better than before. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, trust God, trust yourself and be humble in everything, it will make you a better person and it'll make you surpass every challenges in life.

"Time Runs so FAST"

Time runs so fast to the point that I didn't notice I will be going to celebrate my 1st yr. of being here in U.S. Well, even though I am able to survive living somewhere I am not really used to live, I still think of my friends, and family that I left way back home. It's not so easy to adjust, to move on and start a new life. Starting a new life doesn't mean you're going to forget your past and pretend it never happen. Starting a new life means you're going to create a new you with the combination of the old you. Your past gives you strength wherever you are now, people won't reach what they have now if they don't come from anywhere. I made a lot of decisions in my everyday life. Before I have a lot of dreams, a lot of simple kind of things like, I want to be as smart as my classmates, I want to be a first honor student, I want to go to U.S even just for once, I want to have a lot of friend and many many more... But now, all of that simple wishes came true without any expectation in myself, I just let myself live life  without expectation, I realized that one of the things that I don't really like is to expect, because expect is always with disappointment. I don't want to be disappointed nor to expect for nothing. My simple dreams came true because of giving everything that I can, to do the best that I can and to trust Gd whatever He wants for me, Expect The Unexpected. I always pray for something and I will ask God to grant my wish if it will be good for me, "if not I understand and it's okay if you won't because I trust you that you have greater things that you will provide for me." You won't be angry if your wishes won't come true if you understand why you don't have it.
*LIVE, PRAY, & LOVE*
YOU WON'T BE HERE, IF YOU DIDN'T COME THERE.
YOU'RE NOT HERE IN PRESENT IF YOU DIDN'T COME FROM YOUR PAST, so be glad you came there and accept the things that are already done, nothing will happen if you'll always go back to the memories you want to erase, because no matter what you do with that memory it won't happen again.
If something happened that you never wanted to happen, damage has been done so MOVE ON!.

"When we sinned against God, He forgives, when we planned to give up, he gives us strength to go on."

As I journey my life, I draw more closely to God but, it doesn't mean I am not tempted anymore. I am unworthy, no one is worthy, but God alone.  

When I committed sins against him, He FORGIVES. 

When I planned to give up, He gives me STRENGTH to go on.

When I am in pain, He HEALS me.

When I prayed, He answers.

God may answer Yes, Just wait, and No , When we asked for something in him through prayer, He gives signs about his answer, He knows what's best for us. Don't just open your eyes, open also your heart to see. Don't just pray and pray without works. When you asked for something, worked on it, don't just wait without doing anything because nothing will happen, God is there to help, guide, protect and accompany you in your journey, he is your best friend that will never leave you, he is just there waiting for you to open your heart to see him, he will be there wherever you are. You can't see him when you're feeling angry and when pride is overwhelming you. Be humble, good, and show obedience in His commandments and you'll see.

It may be hard to do all the commandments of the Lord, take it easy but sincerely, step by step it's like climbing a stairs, it may take too long but at the end it's worth it.

Faith without work is Dead. It's like a body without soul.  

"Heaven is on Earth"

People who believes in one God are the ones who are successful.
Some people are successful both Heaven and on Earth, some experienced so much pain, and hatred on Earth because of doing the right thing but surely be comfortable with God in Heaven.
I don't know what heaven looks like, but I have no doubts that in Heaven you will experience happiness and equality. Doing the right things results to good consequences but, people are tempted by things that aren't necessary like Earthly things, being obsessed with money and power, that they forgot what's the right thing to do and their mind were swallowed by the temptations and committed sin against righteousness.
Doing the commandments of the Lord results to GOOD LIFE and there's no reason not to do it.

As I journey my life going to other places, I've discovered that there are a lot of people who don't believe in Him. They're baptized but, don't have belief and faith. I am not against them, but it's just painful for my part because they don't love what they should love. Faith is the connection through your soul, having something to believe in life is how you feed your soul.
As what I learned form my past lessons in school, Jesus performs a lot of miracles here on Earth that are experienced in Heaven and through this, God brings Heaven on Earth. Today, miracles are rare to witness, but it's not how you see it, it's how you believe that it happens, that it existed.
It is not always to see, is to believe. Some things in life are mysteriously happening that even Science cannot explain, they may have theory and evidence that make people believe. Science and my Faith can be connected, Science shows a lot of amazing things and they helped my Faith grow more stronger because it shows how amazing my God is. He created smart and genius people to explain these things, He created life, and different things to learn in this life, that makes it not boring for people. Life is about having fun with challenges and not to give up on it.


"Heaven is on Earth"

"The empty space"

Did you try to put chemicals on a bottle?
Let's say there's 3 bottles with chemical, the chemical A, B & C .
There's always a time to put the right chemical in each bottle. The chemical A must be put by the end of the day, The B is for the next 2 days and the C is For 7 days. There's always a right time for everything..
We put the chem. A at the end of the day....
After 2 days we put the Chem. B ...
But, we are impatient, curious, ignorant and we want to put Chem. C even if it's just the 3rd day.. We know that the right time is at the 7th day but still we put it on 3rd day.
But, at the end, you realized we should put the Chem. C at the right time because the result won't be good and accurate. So, you let go of Chem. C and start another experiment.
It's like teenagers, we experienced puppy love but, sometimes we go over the limit.
We enter serious relationship, even we know it's not the right time, and if we enter that kind of relationship it may cause pain, stress and damage in our life.
We know it's because of uncontrollable desire, curiosity, ignorance and for being impatient.
Some people, who are open-minded could see the right path and knows and admit that they did wrong.
But, some people who only relies on their own understanding and decision without opening their mind to other people who are concerned and giving right wisdom for them, couldn't even hear what other people say, people could be stupid in terms of being in the situation of being blind. They are closed-minded person that they will just listen to the people who aren't against them, who supports their decision even if it's wrong.
When you realized that you did wrong, and you're about to move on, it's a long term process but, some people could just make it short, if and only if you're willing to. But, after you moved on, you will feel this emptiness inside you that makes you feel there's something missing that you can't even figure out what, why and how. But, it's the sign that you're already moved on. The space within you is the space that you let go during the process of moving on. So, it's like letting go of Chem. C , you threw everything, you let go, moved on, and start another one.

** Make sure you will fill the space at the right time. If you don't want to start all over again.

:Love is Blind"

Love is really blind and I could prove that, people could prove that especially, people who was being blind by LOVE.
I am still a teenager 15 years old for now, and I started to be in a serious relationship when I was 13, and I could say now, that I am too young and I didn't even notice at that time. I was so blind and ignorant that I couldn't control my own thoughts maybe because of my "curiosity". I thought I could be someone in his life until I graduated college, we planned together that we'll wait, our relationship could be describe as faithful but, hidden. "Relationship won't grow in a hidden process of LOVE" I know that I will not be allowed by my parents to be in a relationship especially my brother, my brother is more like a father to me and I promised that I won't be in a relationship until, the right time comes, but when I promised I already broke it before I say the word "Promise" because I already have and I am in a relationship at that time. I could say that I am so right at that time for some reasons like, he became my inspiration, he lessens my loneliness, I felt loved, I feel so protected and comfortable but now, I realized I don't need all of it for now, it's not the right time, I have a complete happy family to be with, who could fill all the reasons I said and it could be more than that.
Now, that I am out of the in L-O-V-E situation, I could say that I am so wrong and I regret it, I moved on but, not to the point that I plant grudges and hatred in my heart, maybe I planted some but, when the time comes that I realized all of these, the grudges and hatred all died and replaced with life and happiness. I thought I won't be able to move on but, I did it's just that your mid says no even if you can, "it's the free will" that makes you do everything you want, if you want that to happen you can if you would, don't say you can't if you didn't try it yet. "Don't judge your future if you aren't still there, because you never know"
all things change as how time passes by, it doesn't stop so there's always a way, and there's always hope.

*Learn*
"SMART PEOPLE LEARN ON OTHERS MISTAKE,
STUPID PEOPLE LEARN ON THEIR OWN."

and I admit, I became stupid in terms of love because I was BLIND and became deaf because I keep my ears hear all those wisdom from other people but, I just ignored it, that makes me so stupid that I rely on my own understanding and decisions.

I'm so sorry for my brother, he trusted me but, I broke his trust for me, I was so deaf and stupid,
He was hurt and he never deserves to be hurt by me.

"If i have the chance to..."

If I have the chance to love again,
I would take the risk but, in the right time.
If I have the chance to move on,
I did it already.
If I have the chance to go back,
I would without doubts.
If I have the chance to go back to someone,
it would depend.
But, if I have the chance to go back to someone who broke up with me,
I won't have doubts to say NO.
N-O.
(for now)

tralalalalal..
Give yourself a space and realize the things that you never did.

"I MOVED ON"

I had a friend,
way back home @ Davao..
She is a funny friend.. She changed me a looott.. than who I am before, I began to be someone I'm not but I should be..
But, that's not my point in my story..
When I left going @ U.S , in instance her love of her life went here to but, somewhere that's far where I am now.. we're both in a stage of Moving On.. trying to figure things out without the person / people who you trust or whom you love..
oh well, moving on is always been part of our life, we just use this term more common than adjustment..
but then, from December to May most likely t's already been 5 months had passed since that moving on thing.. I asked her let's just say: "Do you still <3 him?" and this was her reply: "somewhere deep deeep deep deep way deeepper sa heart ko love ko prin XD!" ohyea..  don't want to state the whole reply but this was the mesg. she meant ..
and my point, no matter how you break up with someone even though how hard it was to accept, you can still figure out within yourself that you ove that person "no matter what" / "unconditionally" but, we know as time passes by in our lives it changes the habit, lifestyles, thoughts and feelings as well, no matter how hard we try not to change but it's just the reality that we can't control, maybe some people do, but I have no idea how...

This is what life is.. Full of mysteries and it's interesting . :) so always take the risk.

"Being Brave Isn't Enough Without determination"

Bravery isn't the key for everything,
 for winning something ?
A BIG NO !. You can't win without examining your inner energy, without a determination within you..
What is bravery ? and what is determination?
Bravery is shown when a person fights his/her fear, he/she is taking a risk knowing that it is possible for him/her to fail on what he/she is doing.
And determination is when a person has a fixed goal and he/she is striving to aim it, even though he/she knows it's hard but when he/she is determined he/she perseveres to do what it takes to aim what he/she wanted, it's his/her direction in life, it's what a person wants to achieve.

Let's say you are in a competition, and of course, when you are a contestant your goal is to win. So, we know that being part of  a competition isn't an easy task and even we're used to be in a competition, sometimes we just feel nervous and that's how bravery comes in.. we find our inner strength to face the fears inside us, we have this thoughts coming in our mind that inspires us, maybe it's from someone we really know or from someone's wisdom that makes us strong.
When the contest starts, we're already brave to face that kind of challenge, without turning back and when the contest is about to end, and the opponent has a high score than you, it's the time that determination glows inside you, you will make yourself remember every single training you did before that contest and you will persevere to aim what you want, to reach your goal, to beat your opponent and to win.

Bravery and Determination is already in you when you first accept that kind of challenge, you're brave to accept and take the risk even you know it's possible to lose and determination shows up when you train yourself for that prize "to win" and you should not lose hope whenever you lose or you got beaten up, as long as you did what you can do and you did the right thing and always put in mind life is a journey it's a long long trip and there's so many places you could go as long as you take the risk and you did the best that you can and no regrets shows up.. :)

"When You Lose Hope"

For sure in person's life, they've experienced losing HOPE,
even just in little things, in school, in a game, in everything that tests us.
We're not that perfect to accomplish things the way we want it to be,
but, we know deep in ourselves that we could.
All that we need is perseverance and determination in order to pursue what we need,
but it's just that, there are instances that keep us away from the goal we want to aim, that's what we called "barrier" and sometimes it causes us to be hopeless.

But, if we we're going to try, looking ourselves in the sight of others, for sure that confidence we had before will be ragained again, but, it really takes time, it's not just a one snap of our hand and then, we are back again, it's just that we need to take more time to adjust.

When you Lose HOPE,
think of what you really are,
who are you, why did you lose hope?
just reflect in every aspects of your life,
if what had happened, and then try to make a change on yourself,
to bring back of what you really are.

"Trying to forget the past"

Past experiences makes you feel good and others makes you bad..
It's part of the life we had to accept, we need to know and learn to live with it.
Our past makes us grow, makes us become mature and creates who we are today.
What we had in past is in the past, we can't do it again in present the way it happens.

Some experiences we had, we want to bring back again.. some of it, we hope that it never happens, which particularly says that Life isn't fair and things in our Life doesn't always happens the way we want it to be..

Let's just say,
There's an embarrassing moments in our life that makes us feel bad, we lose our self-esteem because of what happened.. but, what happen, happens .. past always stays in the past it never happens in the future anymore..

"Life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.."

so don't waste your time in every circumstances that you know you will not grow. Life is too short, do what you can do and take a risk . <3

"Love Moves in Mysterious Ways"

Love moves in mysterious ways..
we don't know where it will happen, when it will happen and who is the person behind it.
Love is Magical and full of surprises..
We don't know how to define it in just a word, but we know how to feel it..
Love is more than a feeling we deserve to feel.
It's not just about the person and you but it also matters the person that surrounds you.
Relationship won't grow in a hidden process of Love..
It must be real, open and selfless..


Don't let the relationship ruin your relationship with others,
that's the biggest mistake you'll ever do and the biggest regret you can make, if that kind of a person doesn't deserve the pain.