Two words, moving on..... It took me two years to realize that I totally moved on. Moving on is not just a word. It is a transition. A change from who you are to who you want yourself to be. I don't even know why I am writing this down. I don't even know why am I wasting my time bringing back the memories. I also learned that in every transition there's a hole in your heart that needs to be filled. That hole will change your life possibly your whole you. I am suffering on that right now. Well, I cannot call it as "suffering" but it is just annoying that you could call it that way. Anyway, a basketball guy, tall, light-skinned, with glasses, friendly, nice, gentleman, and my ex-weight room partner. That is how I describe him to myself and to anyone. He always pops out in my head in the middle of everything. He just comes in my mind from nowhere which is very annoying. In the middle of studying, eating, relaxing, watching television, in the shower, brushing my teeth, reading a book, and even during my sleep. Who is not irritated with this? It is just annoying. I wonder why I don't have the powers to just delete him in my mind. His smile, his laugh, his blushing red face when his friend took his glasses off is just adorable, that's what pops in my head every time. I post many things in facebook about him. Hints and clues everywhere, his initials, his jersey number. I couldn't even track how many times I visited his timeline in just a day. I can't focus on my studies, my homework, my things to do, my household chores, basically everything. I even gave him holiday grams with a gift. Well, I did not announce my name or wrote my initials. I just put anonymous, to be safe. I don't want him to know it's me, but I want him to notice me in his world. I did deactivate my facebook account, that is why I am here right now, writing this. Because I don't want to reactivate my account and be busy again. Being busy in visiting his account twice every 5 minutes. It is just unhealthy. I want him to fill this hole in my heart and be my inspiration and not my distraction. Well, there was an accomplishment. After I deactivate my fb account I was able to finish my AP English homework. I read the book and finish my reading log. I don't know how to forget him. But, I'm just going to make myself busy and busy and busy. This is all for now. :)
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